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Big Hollywood » Blog Archive » Daily Call Sheet: When Comedians Go Dramatic, TV Ownership Drops, and Grinder Classics

TEN MEMORABLE NON-COMEDIC PERFORMANCES BY COMEDIANS

Pretty spotty list (“Southland Tales?”), but credit is owed for at least grabbing one film pre-1980 film, Jackie Gleason’s truly memorable turn in “The Hustler.”

My votes go to (in no particular order):

There’s always been something missing in any dramatic performance given by Robin Williams, Steve Martin, Bill Murray and Jim Carrey. Steve Carrell is a little better, but all too often they substitute a kind of sad sack, put-upon pathos for actual character and dimension. With the exception of Williams’ terrific turn as a serial killer in “Insomnia,” think about how similar the performances of all these actors are when they go “dramatic.”

Predictable and boring.

DRAFTHOUSE FILMS ACQUIRES US RIGHTS TO ‘ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: THE WILD, UNTOLD STORY OF CANNON FILMS’

This sounds fantastic:

The film, which will be helmed by Mark Hartley (Machete Maidens Unleashed, Not Quite Hollywood), follows Israeli-born cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, who launched Cannon Films, an indie film studio in 1979 that went on to make over 120 exploitation films, between 1979 and 1989, dubbing itself the “seventh Hollywood major.”

Cannon Films brought Runaway Train (which received an Oscar nomination in 1986), Missing in Action, Death Wish, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Masters of the Universe and American Ninja to the big screen.

“Cannon Films was an enterprise that in many ways defined exploitation cinema of the 1980s,” said Alamo Drafthouse Founder/CEO and Fantastic Fest Founder Tim League, “We are thrilled to share their untold legacy with movie fans around the country.”

Minor correction: Cannon was only responsible for the first three “Death Wish” sequels, not the original, which was a legitimate studio film (Paramount).

There’s no doubt Cannon made a ton of crap, but they also made some genuine grinder classics: 10 to Midnight, Bloodsport, Death Wish 2, 3, & 4 (the second being one of my all-time favorite films), Delta Force 1 and 2, Invasion U.S.A., Cobra, Missing in Action 1 and 2 and the brilliant Runaway Train.

I’ll take any of these over 99% of the hyper-edited, overlong, metrosexual-driven junk Hollywood’s producing today.

The story behind Cannon should be a fascinating one, as all Hollywood stories are. But some of these movies deserve respect.

TV OWNERSHIP DROPS FOR FIRST TIME IN NIELSEN HISTORY

With services like Netflix and Hulu beefing up their streaming selections, it’s easier than ever to pull the plug on your TV and still remain in the pop culture loop — and increasingly, consumers are doing just that. According to a new report released this week by Nielsen Media Research, the number of U.S. households that own a television set will actually drop between 2011 and 2012, the first such decline since the company began tracking that statistic in 1970. The decrease is especially significant given that the number of households in the U.S. continues to grow from year to year.

There’s one technology that isn’t doing too well, however. The number of households with DVD players is expected to slip down to 85% in 2012, down from its record high of 88%. Though that drop could be attributed to a number of different factors, including the economy, it also suggests that consumers are ditching discs in favor of Netflix, Hulu, iTunes, and other digital services.

Hollywood is attempting to fight the inevitable by postponing for as long as they dare the release of new titles to Redbox and Netflix. Only problem is that there’s already so much out there to relish, so much to discover and re-discover on home video. Honestly, I think I can wait 28 days for “The Green Lantern.”

A LOOK BACK AT STANLEY KUBRICK’S ‘THE KILLING‘

Great, great, great heist-gone-wrong flick and a million years removed from anything Kubrick would do later in life. Part of Kubrick’s genius was casting. Who else would’ve given the great Sterling Hayden the lead role? And then there’s the amazing Marie Windsor, Elisha Cook Jr., Vince Edwards, Timothy Carey, and Coleen Gray.

As good the tenth time as the first.

LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING

“Dark Knight” on Blu-ray. Need I say more?

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SCOTTDS’ EPIC LINK-TACULAR

ROBERT CONRAD DOES A WEEKLY RADIO SHOW

THE BEST & WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2011

GEORGE KENNEDY DISCUSSES HIS NEW MEMOIR, TITLED ‘TRUST ME‘

FINAL POSTER FOR ‘SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS‘

DIRECTOR SIMON WEST IN TALKS TO HELM RACING MOVIE ‘DUST AND GLORY‘

STEVEN SODERBERGH TO DIRECT THRILLER ‘THE BITTER PILL‘

NEW HI-RES STILLS FROM ‘PROMETHEUS’ PUT THEIR BEST (TERRIFYINGLY HUGE) FACE FORWARD

SCREENWRITER MARTI NOXON TO PEN ‘OUIJA’ AND, YES, IT’S BASED ON THE BOARD GAME

DANIEL RADCLIFFE TO PLAY ALAN GINSBERG IN ‘KILL YOUR DARLINGS‘

ANOTHER ‘MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL’ CLIP

HARRISON FORD AMONG ACTORS BEING CONSIDERED FOR ‘ENDER’S GAME‘

IS IT THE YEAR OF THE DUDE FILM?

CATCHING UP WITH DIRECTOR GEORGE MILLER

‘FULL MONTY’ DIRECTOR PETER CATTANEO TO BIRTH ‘BRIDGET JONES’S BABY’

MICHAEL IRONSIDE AND THE EVOLUTION OF HIS MISSING BODY PARTS

TOMMY LEE SUED BY FORMER ASSISTANT FOR (ALLEGEDLY) BEING A CHEAP, PETTY SLAVE DRIVER

VIDEO: LATEST TRAILER FOR TNT’S NEW SERIES ‘DALLAS’

THE 10 BEST ORIGINAL LUCASARTS ADVENTURE CHARACTERS

HEDY LAMARR: BEAUTIFUL ACTRESS BY DAY, INVENTOR BY NIGHT

7 MOVIES THAT PUT INSANE WORK INTO DETAILS YOU DIDN’T NOTICE

SOME ACTORS: BETTER OLDER THAN YOUNGER?

WHY IS NICOLAS CAGE ON THE COVER OF A SERBIAN TEXTBOOK?

10 TV SERIES ON NETFLIX INSTANT TO GET YOU THROUGH RERUN SEASON

11 HILARIOUSLY EMBARRASSING MOVIE APES

THE ZUCKER-ABRAHAMS-ZUCKER RULES OF FILMMAKING

THE TOP 10 BEST WRITTEN ANIME

PODCAST: HOW RESIDUALS WORK

FIZZBIN AND 21 OTHER FICTITIOUS POP CULTURE GAMES

TOP 10 TV HORROR HOSTS

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CLASSIC PICK FOR FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2

8:30 AM  EST: Crossroads (1942)  – A French diplomat who’s recovered from amnesia is blackmailed over crimes he can’t remember. Dir: Jack Conway Cast:  William Powell, Hedy Lamarr, Claire Trevor. BW-83 mins, TV-G, CC.

Never seen this, but quite the cast and a solid director.

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–Please send tips/suggestions/requests/complaints to

Coldplay, Michael Bublé rumored to perform on 'X Factor' U.K. 2011 season finale

An official announcement has not been made yet, but British rock band Coldplay and Canadian crooner Michael Bublé are said to be part of the lineup of “The X Factor” U.K.’s eighth-season finale, which ITV will televise live in two parts on December 10 and December 11, 2011.

As previously reported, for the first time, the show’s finale is set to take place at Wembley Arena in London.

The first part of the finale on December 10 is when the three remaining finalists perform. The second part is on December 11 is when the voting results are announced and the show’s winner is named.

“The X Factor” executive producer Simon Cowell, who left the show as a judge in 2011, is expected to be there for the show’s season-finale episodes.

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Coldplay’s and Bublé’s performances on the show are rumored to be collaborations with “X Factor” U.K. finalists. “The X Factor” usually does not reveal in advance which performers will be paired with which finalists.

Bublé has another “X Factor” U.K. connection this year: As previously reported, “The X Factor” U.K. judges Kelly Rowland and Gary Barlow are making guest appearances on the TV special “Michael Bublé: Home for Christmas,” which ITV will air on date in December 2011 to be announced. Comedian/actress Dawn French will also be part of the TV special.

Bublé will have a separate Christmas TV special for the United States. “A Michael Bublé Christmas” is set to air on NBC on December 6, 2011. The guests on this TV special include performances by Justin Bieber, “American Idol” alum Kellie Pickler and Thalia, as well as short comedy segments from “The Office” co-star Ed Helms and “30 Rock” co-star Tracy Morgan.

NASA launches Mars super-rover

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) – A rover of "monster truck" proportions zoomed toward Mars on an 8½-month, 56-million-kilometer journey Saturday, the biggest, best equipped robot ever sent to explore another planet.

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s six-wheeled, one-armed wonder, Curiosity, will reach Mars next summer and use its jackhammer drill, rock-zapping laser machine and other devices to search for evidence that Earth’s next-door neighbor might once have been home to the teeniest forms of life.

More than 13,000 invited guests jammed the Kennedy Space Center on Saturday morning to witness NASA’s first launch to Mars in four years, and the first flight of a Martian rover in eight years.

Mars fever gripped the crowd.

NASA astrobiologist Pan Conrad, whose carbon compound-seeking instrument is on the rover, wore a bright blue, short-sleeve blouse emblazoned with rockets, planets and the words, "Next stop Mars!" She jumped, cheered and snapped pic-tures as the Atlas V rocket blasted off. So did Los Alamos National Laboratory’s Roger Wiens, a planetary scientist in charge of Curiosity’s laser blaster, called ChemCam.

Surrounded by 50 US and French members of his team, Wiens shouted "Go, Go, Go!" as the rocket soared into a cloudy sky. "It was beautiful," he later observed, just as NASA declared the launch a full success.

A few kilometers away at the space center’s visitor complex, Lego teamed up with NASA for a toy spacecraft-building event for children this Thanksgiving holiday weekend. The irresistible lure: 800,000 Lego bricks.

The one-ton Curiosity — 10 feet long, nine feet wide and seven feet tall at its mast — is a mobile, nuclear-powered laboratory holding 10 science instruments that will sample Martian soil and rocks, and with unprecedented skill, analyze them right on the spot.

It’s as big as a car. But NASA’s Mars exploration program director calls it "the monster truck of Mars."

"It’s an enormous mission. It’s equivalent of three missions, frankly, and quite an undertaking," said the ecstatic program director, Doug McCuistion. "Science fiction is now science fact. We’re flying to Mars. We’ll get it on the ground and see what we find."

The primary goal of the $2.5-billion mission is to see whether cold, dry, barren Mars might have been hospitable for microbial life once upon a time — or might even still be conducive to life now. No actual life detectors are on board; rather, the in-struments will hunt for organic compounds.

Curiosity’s seven-foot arm has a jackhammer on the end to drill into the Martian red rock, and the seven-foot mast on the rover is topped with high-definition and laser cameras.

With Mars the ultimate goal for astronauts, NASA will use Curiosity to measure radiation at the red planet. The rover also has a weather station on board that will provide temperature, wind and humidity readings; a computer software app with daily weather updates is planned.

No previous Martian rover has been so sophisticated.

The world has launched more than three dozen missions to the ever-alluring Mars, which is more like Earth than the other solar-system planets. Yet fewer than half those quests have succeeded.

Just two weeks ago, a Russian spacecraft ended up stuck in orbit around Earth, rather than en route to the Martian moon Phobos.

"Mars really is the Bermuda Triangle of the solar system," said NASA’s Colleen Hartman, assistant associate administrator for science. "It’s the death planet, and the United States of America is the only nation in the world that has ever landed and driven robotic explorers on the surface of Mars, and now we’re set to do it again."

Curiosity’s arrival next August will be particularly hair-raising.

In a spacecraft first, the rover will be lowered onto the Martian surface via a jet pack and tether system similar to the sky cranes used to lower heavy equipment into remote areas on Earth.

Curiosity is too heavy to use air bags like its much smaller predecessors, Spirit and Opportunity, did in 2004. Besides, this new way should provide for a more accurate landing.

Astronauts will need to make similarly precise landings on Mars one day.

Curiosity will spend a minimum of two years roaming around Gale Crater, chosen from among more than 50 potential landing sites because it’s so rich in minerals. Scientists said if there is any place on Mars that might have been ripe for life, it may well be there.

The rover should go farther and work harder than any previous Mars explorer because of its power source: 10.6 pounds of radioactive plutonium. The nuclear generator was encased in several protective layers in case of a launch accident.

 

‘Hugo’ brings out gentler Scorsese

Last Updated: November 26. 2011 1:00AM John Horn/ Los Angeles Times

You think you know by now what you’ll get in a Martin Scorsese movie.

Someone will be gothically whacked. A person’s tenuous grip on reality might slip away, possibly in a mental institution. Vengeance will be doled out — with guns, knives, fists or anything else that causes great bodily injury.

And a sweet orphan will search for a new family.

What looks at initial inspection like Hollywood’s version of a shotgun marriage — the man behind “Goodfellas,” “Raging Bull,” “The Departed,” “Shutter Island,” “Cape Fear,” “The Aviator” and “Gangs of New York” directs the 3-D family film “Hugo” — makes sense if you look closer.

In some ways, Scorsese’s personal life and professional interests have guided him toward a gentle movie like this, even while audiences were cowering from his prior mayhem.

“It’s just natural this time,” says the director, who recently turned 69 and is the parent, with book editor Helen Morris, of a 12-year-old daughter, Francesca, “in particular experiencing living life with not only parenting but a child being a partner with you and with your wife.

“There have been great films made about children, and some great films made from the point of view of children. But what does a child really understand or perceive?” Scorsese says, explaining what captivated him about the project.

Adapted by screenwriter John Logan (“The Aviator”) from Brian Selznick’s popular richly illustrated children’s book “The Invention of Hugo Cabret,” Scorsese’s new movie is a Dickensian drama about a lonely boy’s quest for happiness.

The film also brings to life some of the Oscar-winning director’s longtime obsessions: the history of cinema and film preservation.

“Hugo” simultaneously stands on its own as a drama while also being a love letter to the creation of the medium.

Boy, man relationship focus

Like the novel, “Hugo,” in theaters now, is focused on the relationship between Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield), who tends to clocks in a 1930s Paris train station, and an ornery toy seller (Ben Kingsley).

Hugo’s father (Jude Law) has long since died, and the drowning of Hugo’s alcoholic uncle (Ray Winstone) has left the young man fighting not only poverty and hunger but also a dictatorial station inspector (Sacha Baron Cohen), resolved to dispatch the urchin to an orphanage.

As he maintains the station’s massive timepieces, Hugo labors to fix a child-size mechanical man, or automaton, that, once repaired, might be able to transcribe a message from the boy’s late father.

The automaton carries other data in its wind-up memory, though, and those images at first threaten and then cement the relationship between Hugo and the toy seller, who turns out to be Georges Melies, a pioneer in early cinema before his career, and many of his films, went up in flames.

Selznick, who is distantly related to “Gone With the Wind” producer David O. Selznick, was inspired to write the book by seeing “A Trip to the Moon,” the 1902 Melies short.

The very things that make “Hugo” attention-grabbing are also part of its commercial challenge.

Cineastes who are drawn to Scorsese’s mature movies might be reluctant to see a film about a 12-year-old boy. Parents, open-minded enough to take their kids to a Scorsese film, could see their younger children squirming when “Hugo,” which runs about two hours, delves into the history of motion picture production.

And the film has formidable weekend competition in the PG-rated realm from “The Muppets,” “Arthur Christmas” and the second weekend for “Happy Feet Two.”

But audiences of all ages should be more than a bit intrigued to see what one of American movies’ most celebrated directors can do with a family film, particularly with stereoscopic cameras. Like Melies, who began his show business career as a magician, “Hugo” proves that Scorsese still has a few tricks up his sleeve.

(For those who want to see Scorsese’s old tricks, the Emagine Novi theater is showing “The Departed” and “The Aviator” free at 10 a.m. today and Sunday, respectively.)

Special effects developed

Melies, who died in 1938, was astonished when he saw an 1895 presentation from the Lumiere brothers.

“We sat with our mouths open without speaking, filled with amazement,” he wrote of seeing one of the world’s first movies.

Borrowing some techniques from his magic shows and inventing others, Melies created and refined many filmmaking techniques still in use today — dissolves, time-lapse photography and special effects that allowed for transformations and substitutions.

Working a century later, Scorsese, who if he wasn’t behind a camera could be chairing the film studies department at a university, followed his French predecessor in using the newest tools and plunged into 3-D filmmaking.

“Melies was aiming that way anyway,” he said. “There is some footage of his that’s in 3-D that’s been preserved in France right now.”

Still, today’s 3-D cameras are bulky and require complicated lighting. Scorsese was further restricted in how long he could work with his young actors — just four hours a day. And the director would occasionally complain that a shot wasn’t in focus — only to realize he was reviewing footage without his 3-D glasses on.

From the moment the film begins, you notice that Scorsese is using his stereoscopic cameras to give the film definable depth. The station is often filled with steam and smoke, escaping from heat vents, pipes, locomotives and even warm croissants, which helps to separate foreground from background. This makes the station’s hallways, passageways and galleries feel like a maze, with Hugo scurrying through it.

While he concedes the technology has been misused here and there — “over the years, there’s been some gimmicks” — he was certain it was the right choice after he saw James Cameron’s “Avatar.”

“I’ve collected 3-D pictures over the years. When I was a child, I had these postcards, I had two images on them, I could put them in a stereoscope and look at them. I’ll never forget Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders and that sort of thing. And then when you see (‘Hugo’) in 3-D, the impression you feel is you’re there. You see around the person. You could feel the dust. And it transports you to another place.”

Audience education needed

Producer Graham King says he realizes audiences will need some educating. “Telling parents that they can take their kids to a Scorsese movie — it’s a bit tough,” he says.

The director, who admits he could show none of his recent movies to his youngest daughter, says to parents and children alike: Come on in.

“Of any films that I could have made that would be considered a family film, I would make this, because of the boy,” says Scorsese, who has yet to decide what his next project will be.

Screenwriter Logan says no matter how operatic Scorsese’s films might be, they are connected by a common element. “Marty is at heart an absolute humanist,” Logan says. “What excites him beyond technical achievement is getting inside the souls of human beings. It could be ‘Taxi Driver’s’ Travis Bickle, and it could be Hugo Cabret. It’s what he does best.”

‘Hugo’

Rated PG for some action, peril and smoking

Running time: 127 minutes

Scorsese for free

To celebrate the release of Martin Scorsese’s first 3-D film, “Hugo,” Emagine Novi is showing some of the famed director’s other films at no charge.

‘The Departed”The Aviator’

44425 W. 12 Mile, Novi

Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis

Subscribe to Detroit News home delivery and receive a SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER.

Coupons by Answers.com Launches Hottest Coupons for the Holiday Shopping Season

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A perfect crust isn’t pie in sky

When Thanksgiving approaches and thoughts turn to pie, many cooks have discovered they can have a crusty situation on their hands.

Rolling out a picture-perfect pie crust can be a challenge for the most seasoned baker, but particularly for home cooks who may only bake pies from scratch a few times each year.

Akron, Ohio, resident Helen Weyrick has been using the same shortening-based recipe for her pie crust for more than 60 years. But lately, she said she has been frustrated with it.

“It gets too sticky and I had to keep adding flour and adding flour,” she said.

Weyrick wondered whether there had been changes to the formula of her favorite brand of shortening, Crisco, and said several of her friends have thought the same thing. With pumpkin pie season upon them, Weyrick reached out for help.

Several years ago, Crisco brand vegetable shortening was reformulated to eliminate trans fats. The company acknowledged that it did adjust some of its recipes after the change, but the pie crust was not one of them. However, Weyrick’s recipe was outdated and contained steps that the shortening brand no longer advises.

Ken Haedrich, author of “Pie: 300 Tried and True Recipes for Delicious Homemade Pie” (Harvard Common Press 2004, 2011), said homemade pie is enjoying a resurgence in popularity. It has been talked about this year as the one dessert that could unseat the cupcake’s popularity.

As Weyrick’s experience shows how longtime bakers can run into problems, new bakers can have even more issues.

Haedrich said the problem with pie baking, particularly for beginners, is that there is so much information out there now and so much of it is contradictory. The process of making the crust is intimidating for many.

“There are 10,000 experts and they all have very strong opinions,” he said. “It used to be your mom showed you how to bake a pie and she probably learned it from ‘The Joy of Cooking’ or Good Housekeeping. There is too much information now.”

While the classic French pate brisee or pastry crust contains all butter, Haedrich said he always falls back on his basic flaky pastry recipe, which uses half butter and half shortening.

“An all-shortening crust is excellent, but it is mainly textural, it’s all flaky. An all-butter crust has great flavor, but not the flakiness. Over the years, I have found that half butter and half shortening gives the benefit of both,” he said.

The addition of shortening means the crust will roll easier than an all-butter crust as well. Another option is lard, which is animal fat. Haedrich said lard will produce an extremely flaky crust, but some folks don’t care to use it because it can have a stronger flavor. However, lard purchased in the grocery store is typically neutral in flavor. “The results are very flaky, almost like a shattering sort of flake,” he said.

When putting crusts together, it is best to make sure that all ingredients, even the flour and salt, are very cold. Use ice water, not just tap water. The same goes for the bowl and any utensils, including the rolling pin – it helps to chill them first.

For putting a crust together, a hand-held pastry blender, a mixer or a food processor all work well. Use only enough water to allow the crust to come together.

Chill the dough for half an hour before rolling. Any longer and it will be too hard, requiring you to overwork it to get it rolled out, Haedrich said.

Food Buzz: The unsung heroes of the Thanksgiving table 

You spend a lot of time thinking about your turkey, pumpkin pie, wine, seating chart. But don’t forget the under-the-radar components of the Thanksgiving table. They have the power to transform your feast.

BUTTER: Butter shows up throughout the meal, from bisque to pie. Don’t just "use up" the stuff at the back of your fridge. Invest a couple bucks in high-quality butter. It’s worth it. Your mashed potatoes will taste measurably better, your pie crusts will be flakier and richer. Especially important: room-temperature butter for the rolls on the table.

STOCK: Don’t let stock be the thing that you forget to pick up at the grocery store on your last-minute run. Stock should be one of the first things you think of when planning your feast. Spend some time this week putting up a couple of quarts of stock for your stuffing, gravy, wild rice and sweet potatoes. The depth of flavor that good stock imparts is unattainable any other way.

MIREPOIX: It’s a shame there’s not a simpler word for mirepoix, because it’s such a simple idea. Mirepoix is a flavor base, usually consisting of onions, carrots and celery. When you cook these three things together and use the mixture as a starting point for soups, stuffings and gravies, you have a balance of sweet, savory, vegetal and mildly astringent flavors, a clean and complete starting point. It’s key to select good, firm, preferably organic vegetables.

CITRUS: Lemon – juice and rind – adds a bright note of acidity to every dish you add it to. Stuff your bird with halved lemons, add finely grated rind to your gravy, squeeze wedges of lemons over your sweet potatoes, add lemon juice to your apple or pumpkin pie. It’s the difference between a good meal and a great one. Get really trendy, and put out wedges of lemon as condiments on the table. Oranges and limes also are welcome.

SALT: Seasoning is so essential, so basic that it’s often overlooked. But turkey, unless it’s correctly seasoned, tastes like nothing. Whether you choose to brine the bird (soak it in a saltwater solution for eight or 10 hours) or season the meat directly with salt (including inside the cavity and under the skin), go big – it’s a big bird. For brining, use a solution of 1/4-cup kosher salt for every gallon of water; for direct salting by hand, use about 1/4-cup of salt in total.

HERBS: Chopped parsley, in ample qualities, belongs on almost every dish on your Thanksgiving table: stuffing, mashed potatoes, even over the turkey. Use much more than you think you need. You’ll be amazed how its clean-palate astringency dances with the rich flavors that dominate the meal. Don’t stop at parsley: Load your stuffing with thyme. Stuff the turkey with sage. Roast sprigs of rosemary with your root vegetables.

- Tucker Shaw, The Denver Post

10 WEIRD WAYS TO COOK A TURKEY

Benjamin Franklin was a big fan of the turkey, so much so that he nominated the humble bird to be our national symbol. I happen to be a very big fan of Benjamin Franklin, but I can’t help wishing he had left us with just one more product of his scientific genius: a better way to cook a Thanksgiving turkey.

Let’s face it, most turkey comes out drier than a powdered wig. This inherent and perhaps unavoidable aridness is, I believe, the true motivation behind the countless variations for preparing turkey.

1. Deep-fried: Dunking a whole turkey into a vat of boiling oil was all the rage a few years back but has since gone the way of the countertop espresso machine. You can find recipes for the process from numerous sources, including eatturkey.com . I’m all for fried food of any kind, but this one is a bit of a fire risk.

2. Turducken: Just to set the record straight, this is no urban myth. It’s a chicken wrapped in a duck wrapped in a turkey (all deboned, of course). I haven’t had the pleasure, but I’d love to try it. Although, given the dryness of chicken and turkey and the succulence of duck, it seems a little like making a bacon sandwich with Melba toast.

3. Bacon-wrapped: Now we’re getting somewhere. I found this on seriouseats.com . This looks like something from a horror movie, but the appeal is obvious. Will it make a turkey less dry? When pork bellies fly.

4. Plastic oven bag: While this newfangled technique may sound bogus, the idea is legitimate: Bake the bird inside a heatproof plastic bag to help keep in the juices. I’ve tried this method. Once.

5. Microwaved: Cooksrecipes.com has a perfectly legitimate-sounding method for cooking a 12-pound whole turkey in a microwave, using an oven bag. Given the multistep process, you wouldn’t try this for convenience, but it might get the job done if all you have is a microwave.

6. Grilled: Hot off the grill from BBQ master Steven Raichlen comes a recipe for a Cajun-spiced barbecued turkey. Not exactly a traditionalist’s version, but Justin Wilson might give it an "wee!"

7. Beer can turkey: A big-bird variation on beer can chicken, in which the turkey is propped up on a partially full can of beer and cooked in a barbecue. Emeril’s website and numerous other sources have recipes.

8. Crock pot: It takes five to six hours to cook a whole small bird this way, according to Stephanie O’Dea’s blog. It’s doubtful this would yield crispy skin, but the moisture factor could be a little higher than with roasting in a big oven.

9. Pressure-fried: The best fried chicken I’ve ever had was cooked for 45 minutes in a pressure fryer (at Ianne’s Pizzeria in Pueblo, Colo.). Even the white meat was good . If this could be done with a whole turkey, I’d happily spend Thanksgiving seated in a plastic booth in Pueblo.

10. Deep-fried in lard: Vegetable oil is fine, but if you’ve ever had french fries cooked in lard, you know where I’m going with this. Lard makes pig skin taste great (chicharrón); just imagine what it could do to turkey skin.

- Philip Schmidt, Hometalk.com

Good Taste : Recipes for the Thanksgiving turkey that keep on giving

While day-after Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches with the works are delicious and a seasonal staple as much as the dinner itself, a little variety never hurts. If you aren’t feeling particularly thankful for the bounty of leftovers in your fridge this weekend, here are some ideas.

First thing’s first, and don’t throw away that turkey carcass! Stock is the best way to get your money’s worth from that perfectly roasted bird of yours and extra delicious if there is still a little bit of crispy skin left. Beyond that, all you need is a big pot, cold water, some spices and mire poix (remember we went over mire poix a few articles back? It’s just a fancy sounding French word for chopped onions, carrots, and celery.)

At 7a Foods, Chef Dan Sauer uses Cleveland Farm Turkey for his turkey gumbo, and though I’m not at liberty to give that recipe away (and I don’t know it) gumbo is a delicious, one-pot meal that you can make lots of ways to suit your taste, try it at 7a, where it’s served over rice, for inspiration.

When I asked Dee Smith of A Savory Pie Company about leftover ideas, I was not surprised when she responded with, “you can put anything in a pie crust”, including the whole dinner from turkey to cranberry sauce, which was how she got the idea for her Turkey Dinner Pie. For post-Thanksgiving “lighter fare” (and to make sure all those leftover veggies get eaten) fold your Brussels sprouts, butternut squash, broccoli and green beans into a flaky piecrust.

If you have so many leftover mashed potatoes lingering in the fridge you’re considering letting the kids finger paint with them, (when researching creative ideas for Thanksgiving leftovers “mashed potato finger painting” was an actual suggestion), you could instead shape them into cakes, fry them in butter, and call it boxty, which is a traditional Irish potato pancake made simply with potato, flour, baking soda, buttermilk, and sometimes egg.

Here are some other ideas that should help eliminate that leftover clutter in your fridge before you resort to finger-painting.

Recipe 1

Thanksgiving Leftover Casserole

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 cup whole milk (or cream)

freshly ground black pepper to taste

1 cup leftover stuffing

1 cup cooked turkey meat

1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

2 cups leftover mashed potatoes

Lightly grease a 9×13 baking dish.

Melt 3 tablespoons butter in a saucepan over low heat.

Slowly stir in milk, then season with salt and pepper.

Stir sauce over low heat for 5 minutes.

Place the turkey in the prepared baking dish. Pour the sauce over turkey

Sprinkle with Cheddar cheese.

Spread mashed potatoes over cheese.

Top mashed potatoes with the stuffing.

Bake 45 minutes in the preheated oven.

*feel free to experiment with whatever spices you have on hand.

Recipe 2

This has been adapted but it originated at A Taste of Home, and I think it is unique and really delicious.

Sweet Potato and Caramelized Onion Shells

2 large onions, chopped

1 teaspoon garlic powder

21 uncooked jumbo pasta shells

1/4 cup chicken broth

1 tablespoon sherry or apple cider

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1-1/2 cups mashed sweet potatoes

1-1/2 cups (6 ounces) crumbled Gorgonzola cheese

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley

1 cup turkey gravy, warmed

In a large skillet sauté the onions in butter until softened. Add garlic powder and salt. Reduce heat to medium-low cook, stirring occasionally for 25-30 minutes or until deep golden brown.

Meanwhile, cook pasta shells according to package directions. Drain pasta; set aside.

Stir the broth, sherry, thyme and pepper into onions. Bring to a boil; cook until liquid is almost evaporated. Remove from the heat. Stir in sweet potatoes and Gorgonzola cheese.

Spoon mixture into shells, place in a greased 11x 7 baking dish. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Cover and bake at 375° for 10-15 minutes or until heated through. Sprinkle with parsley. Serve with gravy.

Recipe 3

Another original recipe from A Taste of Home.

Stuffing Dumpling Soup

1 cup mushrooms, sliced

1 medium onion, chopped

1 tablespoon olive oil

3 garlic cloves, minced

1-1/2 cups fresh carrots, chopped

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon paprika

pinch dried thyme, cumin and cayenne pepper (to taste)

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

2 cups leftover stuffing

2 cups cubed cooked turkey

1-1/2 cups cut fresh green beans

Sautee mushrooms and onion in oil until tender, add garlic, cook 1 minute longer. Add the broth, carrots and spices, bring to a boil. Reduce heat, simmer uncovered for 5-8 minutes or until carrots are tender. Add the turkey and green beans.

Meanwhile, in a large bowl whisk eggs and flour until smooth. Crumble stuffing over mixture; mix well. If necessary, add water, 1 teaspoon a time, until mixture holds its shape.

Drop stuffing mixture by heaping tablespoonfuls onto simmering soup. Cover and simmer for 8-10 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in a dumpling comes out clean.

Turkey scaloppine a spin on Thanksgiving tradition

When my editor asked me to come up with a turkey recipe to run for Thanksgiving but not overlap with any turkey dishes featured in recent Thanksgiving issues, my first thought was something along the lines of, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Wasn’t it just Thanksgiving?”

Each year, the Food & Wine staff is faced with the same challenge: to come up with a new spin on classic Thanksgiving favorites. Because The Chronicle has been in existence since 1865, we’ve done our fair number of spins.

A quick search through the archives revealed the following turkey-based recipes: turkey meatballs, turkey chili, turkey patties, turkey Kiev, cabbage rolls with turkey stuffing, and bacon-wrapped turkey breast.

Though I’m a deep-fried turkey fan and couldn’t find a recipe, I wasn’t eager to risk disfigurement from lowering an enormous bird into a vat of boiling oil – if I could even find a big enough vat – so I nixed that idea. Short of a wild, last-ditch veer into turkey tartare territory – inspired by Ippuku’s chicken tartare, which Michael Bauer quite liked on his visit last year – my mind drew a blank.

And then, one evening at home as we were cleaning up dinner, I watched Dave repeatedly cram garbage down into the bag to make more room, and – was that the soundtrack to Kubrick’s “2001″ playing in the background? – something clicked.

Turkey scaloppine! We’d pound turkey breast thin, bread it, then crisp it in a little oil. That way I’d get fried turkey lite, and he’d get a quick lesson in three valuable culinary techniques: meat pounding, breading and pan-frying.

The best part of the dish: It cooks ultra-fast. Instead of two or three hours of roasting time, how about two or three minutes, stove top?

Scaloppine, paillard and schnitzel are all variations on the theme of thin meat. A “scallop” of meat, or “escalope” in French, is “a thin, boneless, round- or oval-shaped slice of meat or fish,” according to the “Food Lover’s Companion.” A paillard is, similarly, a thin piece of meat, and scaloppine and schnitzel – German for “cutlet” – are generally dredged lightly in flour or beaten eggs and bread crumbs before a light or deep fry.

Pork, veal and chicken thighs are commonly cooked with this technique because their relative fattiness keeps the meat from drying out (go to sfg.ly/sECjV3 for a recipe for pork scaloppine). But chicken breasts and turkey do just fine, as long as you take the meat out of the pan the moment it cooks through, about one minute a side. (Yes, that quickly.) And turkey has its advantages over other meats: It’s lean, healthy and cheap.

One evening, Dave and I set up a breading station of flour, beaten eggs and panko – which yields a crunchier, crisper crust than regular breadcrumbs – and coated a couple of pieces of thin-pounded meat while oil heated in a pan.

Butchers will generally pound or slice meat for you, but if you find yourself with a thick piece of meat at home, no worries. Simply sandwich it between two pieces of plastic wrap, get out your heaviest skillet or pan, and start whacking. Take care to be even – i.e. move around with each smack – lest you tear clear through the meat, and stop when it’s a quarter-inch thick.

We cooked the pieces on one side and turned them when the panko turned golden brown. Minutes later they were done, so we transferred them to a paper towel-lined plate, showered them with a hefty pinch of salt and set them aside.

Scaloppine can be accompanied by a simple wedge of lemon for spritzing, but in keeping with a Thanksgiving theme, we opted for a brown-butter-sage sauce, which comes together in a few minutes and nicely crisps the sage slivers in the process. We drizzled a small amount of sauce over each scaloppine – a little goes a long way – and sat down to eat.

Thanksgiving leftovers 2.0, by ingredient

Whether you bought more canned pumpkin than you need, or you can’t stuff one more bag of cranberries in your freezer or you simply can’t face a next-day, stuffing-white-meat-cranberry sauce sandwich, we just might have you covered. Check out some of our favorite Recipe Finder ways to repurpose the foodstuffs of the season:

(Jim Thresher for The Washington Post) TURKEY

You might want to set aside a separate, non-snacking container of white and/or dark meat so you can make some of these dishes.

Turkey Tortilla Soup. A bit different because it’s creamy, and calls for Hatch brand enchilada sauces.

Couscous-Turkey Salad. Another Cooking for One option from Food editor Joe Yonan.

Fruity-Nutty Wild Rice and Turkey Salad. Lots of texture and protein goodness.

Greek Salad Pitas With Feta Spread and Turkey. Mint perks up the mix.

Man Crepes. Thin slices of roast turkey and a little cheese are tucked inside these warm, eggy envelopes (pictured above).

Turkey Sandwiches With Smoked Gouda, Pickled Red Onion and Cherries. I’d never even suggest something as pedestrian as filling between slices of bread. But this is no mere sandwich.

Hot Chicken Dip. A good snack for TV football watching. Swap out 3 cups of one cooked bird flesh for another.

CRANBERRIES

(Mette Randem for The Washington Post) Sure, the fresh ones can be frozen. But just in case the holiday sets off a craving, try:

Cranberry Oat Bars. A filling snack; the zing of fresh berries keeps these from being overly sweet.

Cranberry Salsa. From Patrick O’Connell; lots of ways to use it, but we end up spooning it out of the jar.

Cranberry-Pistachio Chutney. Beautiful colors, suitable for gift-giving, great with a cheese board.

Fall Fruit Sauce. No matter what the name says, this is good through the cold months. A treat with breakfast pancakes and sausage.

Venison Carpaccio. Stunningly simple yet elegant (pictured above).

MASHED/SWEET POTATOES

Take a tip from the world of shepherd’s pie: Build your own savory pie with roasted vegetables or a mixture of meat and vegetables below, then top with a layer of leftover mashed/smashed/pureed potatoes. Sprinkle with Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese to promote a browned, crunchy surface. Or stir the potatoes into vegetable broth to make a soup or sauce.

Twice-Baked Potatoes (appetizer/hors d’oeuvres). Substitute your leftovers for the commercial product in this recipe.

STUFFING

The option below calls for shaping a stuffing mixture into balls for soup, but that got us thinking: Why not a quick-deep fry? Serve as appetizers or snacks with a green curry aioli.

Turkey Soup With Stuffing Dumplings. A 2011 winner via Domenica Marchetti’s Family Dish series of blogposts on All We Can Eat.

(Michael Temchine for The Washington Post) ROLLS/BREAD

Leftover dinner rolls can be used for your favorite slider recipes, or you can give them the french toast treatment.

Savory Bread Pudding With Mushrooms. This could work with sliced leftover rolls as well.

Bessie’s Crab Pudding. A nice change from days of turkey; it can be assembled hours in advance.

CHESTNUTS/SPICED or FLAVORED NUTS

Cabbage Rolls With Chestnuts. A meatless main course from Turkey.

Chestnut-Chorizo Soup. Just sounds good, doesn’t it?

White Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomato Biscotti. This calls for a cup of walnuts spiced in a savory way (Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, chili powder, garlic salt).

(Linda Davidson/The Washington Post) PUMPKIN PUREE

Think savory.

Creamy Pumpkin Grits With Brown Butter. Herby and rich-tasting, from humble ingredients. Pureed sweet potatoes can be used instead.

Pasta With Creamy Pumpkin Sauce. A healthful recipe with only 6 grams of fat. Kids really like it (pictured above).

Squash and Corn Enchiladas. Pecans are the unexpected ingredient. Corn, spinach and salsa verde = sweet plus heat.